I live with him....

I live with a guy. We've known each other since 2008. We have always seemed to follow each other during our careers, and now we are both in the same positions in the Army, so it's completely out of convenience that we are roommates. He has his space, I have my own. 

It has never been a moment where "something" could happen. Never. A lot of people are thrown off by this "arrangement" and don't understand how a woman and a man, can live together, and nothing come between them. Let me break it down then. He likes white women, I like men....I don't have a preference. I'm pretty sure he's NOT attracted to me whatsoever, so I'm sure that definitely helps. He does these things that irritate the living daylights out of me, which is another reason I wouldn't ever cross the line into that "dimension". I also think that he's probably too much of an emotional beast than me. I'm starting to realize more and more how emotion-less I am when it comes to the opposite sex. Now, that doesn't go to say I'm not passionate about my family, my job, or my country. Not the case at all, but over the course of these last few years, I've just come to the conclusion that men, in general, aren't into me. They don't find me attractive, they don't see me as anything but what I am: me. I'm nothing more and nothing less. I'm also okay with this realization and I have come to terms with my future. Living with a guy, that is extremely attractive, for almost a year, and there's been NO interaction or indication of anything more than friendship, closely shows me how un-wanted I am by the opposite sex. Welcome to my world. Enjoy the ride. 

Thoughts....

So I'm taking on a new and very demanding responsibility this Friday, and I'm thoroughly excited about it. I am super happy for the opportunity, which I don't necessarily need to advance in my career, but so many people in my line of work don't actually take the chance to lead from the front. I'm also going to use this towards getting in better shape (because when I was in a line company back when I was a 1LT, I was in the BEST shape of my life because I was constantly working out!)

In other news, there's a certain person that's been introduced in my life that I have come to look forward to seeing everyday. I will call them LF, which is funny because during my deployment there were a person with the same initials that I found myself extremely drawn to. Unfortunately, I wasn't their cup of tea and they didn't reciprocate the feelings back. Which, is the story of my life. This person, unfortunately, will never know the feelings I have for them, for it is forbidden for me to have any type of relationship with them. And I guess it keeps me accountable for my feelings in a good way.

In other news, my hair is growing out NICELY. I constantly am finding ways to update my look and make it easier and more effective to last throughout the week. Sadly, due to my new and upcoming work out regime, I may have to dedicate 2 hours every 4 days to redoing my hair so it's still in a good standing. Plus, who wants to look raggedy!

I've been seeing this guy B, that is a great guy. However, i don't seem to put him in a vision of my future. I don't see him there. I don't really see ANYONE there for that matter. I see me doing what I want to do in the Army, busting my ass, doing the hard jobs that no one wants to do or has time for because of family responsibilities. But because I don't have that, I can do the jobs that no one wants. And it's actually pretty nice. But when will I see a future....with someone? When it's too late? Will I ever feel the need or necessity to "want" someone?

To be continued.

Difficult Personalities

So today was one of those extremely trying days. Sitting in the sun all day, looking at serial numbers of radios and various other "contrapments" that really mean nothing to the normal citizen in the world. I managed to do something awesome today, though. I sold 8 bottles of the Manetabolism Hair vitamins. These vitamins are supposedly supposed to get your hair at ridiculous lengths, however, the bottle failed to inform you that you could break out horribly and in turn, spend more money on skin products to help combat the adverse effects of the hair vitamins. Trust me, I've had my fair share of "remedies" for these last 3 months. I was time to finally get them out my life. I have 3 bottles left. 2 of which are for my girl Fefe, and then I have one bottle that has yet to be claimed. Honestly, I'm thinking (hard) about revisiting this product and seeing if it will work at a later time, but I really don't want to risk it. I literally tried everything in the book. The recommended dosage is 2 pills a day. I figured that must be TOO much for me, so I tried 1 pill a day. Then I tried 1 pill every 2 days. Then I tried 1 pill once a week. And trust me, nothing worked! I tried 1 pill with like 10 glasses of water. I tried half a pill! I tried 1 regular Manetabolism pill with a regular biotin pill. NOTHING! Skin broke out like you wouldn't believe. I was beyond frustrated. I randomly posted on my YouTube channel I was selling them. Sold 4 bottles to a woman in the Carribean. Then I got the smart idea to post it on my instagram page...and walaaaaaaaa, golden. But now it's got me wondering if I want to sell the rest of my other products that I haven't used up. You see, I chopped all my hair off back in March for a good reason which I will discuss at a later date, but now I don't have all those gorgeous locs for 8 oz of leave in conditioner or 8 oz of deep conditioner. And I definitely don't have all that hair for almost 4 shelves of products! So, I am seriously thinking hard about selling all my unopened products. And trust me, I think I could make a pretty good profit off of them.